Monday, 22 November 2010

How to Have a Discussion on Gay Marriage

How to Have a Discussion on Gay Marriage



Marriage between gay couples has been in the news more within recent years than ever before. Laws and rulings are changing regarding the matter throughout the world. There are different opinions on marriages between those of the same sex, and at times you might enter into a discussion between those who share different views on this subject.

Steps

  1. Try to just listen without giving your opinion if you feel that you will not be able to control your temper! Think about what the other person is trying to say and also about what is behind their words. For many people the idea of same sex relationships is very difficult as they have been brought up believing it to be wrong or sinful. They may feel that same sex "marriage" somehow undermines heterosexual marriages. Understanding their background will make it easier to talk purposefully with them.
  2. Have rebuttals for the most common arguments ready. Common reasons for thinking gay marriage is wrong are that it is a sin, and that it undermines conventional marriage. Be ready to say that actually two people of the same sex deciding to make a life-long commitment to each other is far less damaging to the institution of marriage than the lamentable divorce rates among heterosexual couples.
  3. Express your thoughts and feelings calmly. Losing your temper and shouting will not change someone's mind! There is a technique called "hedging" which you might find effective. It softens the force of your assertions without negating them. Words such as "perhaps", "might", "in my opinion" and "I believe" are effective. Using these "softening" techniques can backfire if you do it too often, however - make a firm statement without hostility every so often to prevent losing credibility.
  4. Acknowledge the opposing argument. You will get further with someone if you do not rubbish their opinions, but instead give them the other side of the argument to think about. There is nearly always some merit to the opposition's arguments - even if it is just that lots of people hold them! "I take your point, but have you considered...." is a good way of framing it.
  5. Agree to disagree if all else fails. You can't change people's minds overnight, and some people will be immovable on the topic. Don't bang your head against a brick wall - just agree to disagree and move on.

Tips

  • A good discussion can become heated, but it does not have to become argumentative or insulting.
  • If you feel strongly about your opinions, and know that you are quick tempered, it is best to stay away from controversial subjects.
  • Keep in mind that in some parts of the world, the subject of gay marriage may be controversial, in others it may not be; do a little research into the LGBT community of the area that you are in before you air your views
  • When debating over the legitimacy of gay of marriage, be cautious about bringing up religion. Their religion may not be the same as yours, which would give them no reason to believe what you are saying. Be aware that different Christian groups have different views on gay marriage. Some denominations accept gay marriage.
  • Always respect everyone, no matter what race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, or anything else they are.

Warnings

  • Some people will find this topic impossible to discuss rationally.

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