How to Create Silk Flower Sachets Wedding Favors

Creating your own silk flower sachets wedding favors is easy and cost of the ingredients are inexpensive Silk flower sachet make an elegant gift for wedding guests. Although it's simple to make, a ready-made silk flower sachet at retail stores could run between $4 up to $12 each.

Steps

1. Cut a piece of fabric 10"x10" and lay it flat on a table.
2. Put some potpourri in the middle of the fabric.
3. Lift each corners of the fabric to meet the ends together in the middle with one hand, then with your other hand grab tight the middle of the sachet until you can see the round bulky shape of sachet.
4. Tie it real tight with cotton yarn and make sure the buds were covered with fabric.
5. Cover the yarn by tying a ribbon on top of it.
6. Cut the extra fabric on top by making a round shape , cut it short but not too short.
7. Take a silk flower (just the flower) and apply some glue on the bottom with the glue gun.
8. Stick the flower on to the top of the silk sachet and Viola! You've made your first flower sachet.

Tips

• Heat up the glue gun before you start.
• Cut cotton yarn long enough to tie the sachet.

Things You'll Need

• A glue gun, a scissor, cotton yarn, potpourri, silk flowers, ribbon color and silk fabric of your choice.

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• How to Elope in Las Vegas
• How to Arrange a Cocktail Wedding Reception
• How to Include a Pet in Your Wedding
• How to Make the Best of Your Jewish Wedding
• How to Ship a Silk Flower Arrangement Without Damage

Sources and Citations

• Other popular sachet is Pillow Sachet:
• http://sweetmemorybaskets.com/Burgundy-and-Black-Satin-Sachets_pid-10175.aspx

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How to Choose a Caterer for Your Wedding Reception

Finding a caterer for your wedding is just one of the tasks that need to be arranged, but it is a fundamental one. Ideally, you want the best, but the "best" is what is considered best for you and your personal needs. So decide beforehand what your expectations are in a caterer and then follow these steps when you choose a caterer for your wedding reception.

Steps

1. Establish a budget before meeting with a caterer and stick to it. Remember also that there are a number of factors that determine the price of meals, such as whether you will be providing a buffet or plated meal, how many options you will be giving your guests, and the quality of the food.
2. Attend a wedding show or exhibition where you can get an opportunity to sample food from various caterers in the area. Take business cards from the ones you are interested in.
3. Get a recommendation from other vendors that you may have decided to work with already. Maybe the site coordinator at the reception location can provide you with a list of approved wedding reception caterers that they have personally worked with. Don't forget to check with friends and colleagues for their feedback.
4. Decide on 5 or 6 potential caterers. Any more than that will just make the process confusing and overwhelming.
5. Save some time by calling your list of potential caterers. Ideally, you want to narrow your list down to 3 that you can visit. Ask some questions over the phone, such as their availability on the day of your wedding and whether they have a menu that meets your budget.
6. Make a list of questions to ask your final 3 potential caterers of wedding receptions. You will be comparing these caterers and hopefully choosing the one that meets all your needs. Questions to ask include the type of menu they would suggest for your budget; whether bartenders are provided; if they accommodate for vegetarian or dietary needs; deposit, refund, and cancellation policies; gratuity expectations; and so on.
7. Request a sampling of menu item choices. Sometimes caterers schedule tasting for wedding parties throughout the year, but if you miss one, request your own. You may have to pay for a private tasting, but the alternative may be worse. Never commission a caterer without sampling the menu that you are planning on offering.
8. Base your final choice on which wedding caterer is willing to give you want you want. Stay away from the company that insists on trying to sell you above and beyond what you had originally planned on. You want a caterer who understands what your personal needs are and who is dedicated to making that happen.
9. Review the contract fully before finalizing your decision. Make sure you are getting everything you want within your budget and that there are no hidden charges.

Warnings

• Give yourself enough time to shop around. The last thing you want is to rush into a decision and be disappointed with the end result.

Sources and Citations

• [http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-reception-planning/articles/17-questions-to-ask-your-wedding-caterer.aspx?MsdVisit=1

The http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-reception-planning/articles/17-questions-to-ask-your-wedding-caterer.aspx?MsdVisit=1
The] Knot offers a list of helpful questions to ask potential caterer.


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How to Save Your Marriage

All marriages reach a point where the people involved are frustrated with one another, or where you look at the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with and wonder what you were thinking. But don't fret, there is a way to get yourself out of that rut and back into the love you once shared.

Steps

1. Remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place. It is often hard to remember that when times are hard, but just thinking about the love you once shared is enough to give you the motivation to try and make things like that again.
2. Talk. Communication is a big issue in most relationships, and as time goes on parters tend to talk less and less. But it is key to tell your loved one how much you love them, and to communicate about daily things in life. And remember, half of communication is talking, but the other half is listening.
3. Try to find things that you can do together. Back when you were dating, there had to have been interests that you shared and things you enjoyed doing together, otherwise you wouldn't have wanted to marry this person, right?

Tips

• A great handbook to help save your marriage is on http://marriagesavior.com/
• Take care of yourself and your partner. Exercize, eat right, take long walks together so you can talk and stay healthy at the same time. Don't become lazy and let yourself go. Guys that goes for you too, stay fit for each other!

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How to Write a Wedding Ceremony

A wedding ceremony can be short and sweet, traditional, alternative and anything your heart desires. This guide will help you get started either as wedding officiant or to aid in the planning of your own wedding.

Steps

1. When planning a wedding, you will want to write down the spoken parts of the wedding ceremony for review and rehearsal. This includes the introduction by officiant, the vows by bride and groom and the exchange of rings.
2. Decide which kind of ceremony you need. There are three examples below of some easy wedding ceremonies. If you want a customized or alternative wedding, write your own idea or use one of the examples below as a starting point.
3. If you want a simple ceremony, try this template:The minister states: I stand before this couple this day to united them in the bonds of matrimony. If there be anyone present that may present just and lawful cause why these two individuals may not be lawfully wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.To the Groom: Do you take __________ as you wedded wife?If so, answer "I DO."To the Bride: Do you take __________ as your wedded husband?If so, answer "I DO."(The giving of one or two rings)The minister states: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
4. A variation of this is the civil ceremony:To the Couple: We are gathered together here to unite this man ____________ and this woman ____________ in the bonds of matrimony.To the Groom: Do you take _________ to be your lawfully wedded wife? If so answer "I DO."To the Bride: Do you take ___________ to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so answer "I DO."The minister states: By the authority vested in me by the State of ______________ I pronounce you husband and wife.
5. For a traditional ceremony, you can use this template:The minister states: Dearly Beloveds and Honored Guests: We are gathered here this day in the sight of God and the company assembled to witness the giving and receiving of the marriage vows.Marriage is an institution ordained of God and is not to be entered into lightly or in jest and only after much consideration.To the Groom: Do you __________take this woman _________to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in heath, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer "I DO."To the Bride: Do you ________take this man _________to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and obey, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer "I DO."The minister states: If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.(Giving or exchanging of rings)By the authority vested in me by the State of ___________ I pronounce you man and wife and what God hath joined together, let no man nor woman put asunder.

Sources and Citations

• Taken from original article with permission: Universal Life Church Wedding Training

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How to Make a Wedding Scrapbook as a Gift

A scrapbook makes a wonderful gift, preserving special wedding memories that will last a lifetime. This project will require a lot of work, but you can bet it will be one of the happy couple's most prized wedding gifts.

Steps

1. Try to attend every event and visit every place related to the wedding. Take photos, gather mementos and document everything.
2. Get second copies of photos from other people, especially if their shots are better than yours.
3. Take a class on scrapbook-making, if necessary, before you begin laying out pages.
4. Buy the best materials. Acid-free papers, die-cut shapes, craft punches and scissors, stickers, mats, permanent ink pens and rubber stamps are the tools of crafty scrapbook makers.
5. Lay out the pages in chronological order, beginning with the couple when they were first dating. Proceed with the engagement, showers, wedding and honeymoon. Include photos, mementos, invitations, party favors, newspaper announcements and brochures of the honeymoon destination.
6. Wrap your gift and present it to the bride and groom after the honeymoon.

Tips

• Use an online collaborative book making site like BellflowerBooks.com to collect photographs and letters of love and excitement from family and friends.
• Consider making a video scrapbook if you've mastered the video camera and can both videotape and edit. Include both photographs and video clips for complete documentation of every aspect of the wedding festivities.
• You might let the bride and groom know you're planning a special surprise - to explain why you haven't given a gift at the wedding.
• Sometimes, when you buy a scrapbook, you don't use all of the pages. In the last pages you haven't used, get the guests to write a little note to the groom and bride.

Warnings

• Putting a scrapbook together is going to be especially difficult if you don't have access to the photos and mementos that will make it meaningful. Close friends and family members are therefore the best ones to make a wedding scrapbook.

Related wikiHows

• How to Personalize Your Wedding
• How to Create a Wedding Memory Book
• How to Have a Small Private Wedding
• How to Lower Wedding Cake Price
• How to Save Money on Your Wedding Ceremony and Reception
• How to Add Text to a Scrapbook
• How to Start a Scrapbook

Sources and Citations

• BellflowerBooks- Their online tools enable a group of people to easily collaborate and create beautiful books full of letters and photographs from the people who mean the most. Perfect for weddings!

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How to Deal With Having Gay Parents

So you have gay parents - two fathers or mothers in a gay relationship - and feel embarrassed about it. It's not that uncommon these days, and all sorts of family units function perfectly well in the world. But you still feel a little uncomfortable when friends comment or when it's Open House at your school. Here's how to be okay with all of your conflicting emotions surrounding this situation.

Steps

1. Remember that your parents love you. If you were born after they got together, they probably went through a lot of painful or embarrassing medical (artificial insemination) or legal (surrogacy or adoption) procedures just to have you. You can always take comfort in the fact that you were dearly wanted. Maybe one of your parents is a biological parent, and you were adopted by the other. In any case you don't remember any other parents - these are the only ones you have. They adore you. They know it's hard for you, and are probably trying hard to understand and make it easier for you. They are not lying awake nights thinking up ways to embarrass you.
2. Be grateful. Realize that having two parents of the same gender is better than just having a single parent or even no parents. Some kids have lost a parent to death. Think of how you would feel if one of your dads or moms passed away. Ouch. It's a lot easier to be grateful for what you have when you think of how it would feel if you didn't have it any longer.
3. Avoid feeling embarrassed or apologizing that your parents are gay. There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. There's no reason for you to apologize - first of all, it's not you who is gay, it's your parents. Second, there's nothing wrong with being gay. When you really think about it, you probably aren't embarrassed that you have two fathers or two mothers. You're probably more embarrassed by what your friends or the other kids at school will say or think about it. Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others.
4. Remember that your parents didn't choose to be gay. Your parents are good, loving people who care deeply about you. The fact that they are gay has no bearing on the way they treat other people, and certainly does not affect the way they treat and deal with you. Anyone who teases you about your parents' relationship is probably someone who doesn't know anyone (or doesn't know he knows) who is gay. Instead of avoiding that person, why not consider:
   
   • Talk to your dads/moms about this person. Tell them that s/he teases you and what s/he says. It will help them to understand how your days go at school, and it will help you, because they will be able to offer suggestions about coping with the insults or remarks.
   • Invite the problem person to your home. Make it a group - get a few good friends, and that person plus a friend of his/hers. Ask them over just to hang out. If you can put one or both of your folks in the same room with this person, and just let him/her see that your parents are normal, kind, nice people who don't deserve to be hated simply because they are misunderstood, it will help the situation a lot.
   • Try talking to him/her. Ask him/her why s/he's giving you so much grief. You're not gay - your parents are. And so what? That would be like you giving him/her a hard time because you found out his/her mom loves and forces her kid to listen to polkas, and even makes the kid dance all the time. It's certainly different from most other parents. But it has nothing to do with him/her. It's the parent's activity, not the kid's, and the kid has no control over it.
   • Ignore it. If it's impossible to invite him/her over, or to get your folks into the same place as s/he is, then blow it off. It's a shame, but ignorance often displays itself in the form of rudeness and lame insults.
5. Have a sense of humor. Realizing that ignorance really isn't bliss - it's hellish - has its own rewards. People acting dumb out of fear or ignorance can be forgiven. If you can find some humor in the situation, try to see the lighter side. It really can help you cope better. Try to deflect remarks or unkind assumptions with a light, humorous remark of your own. Example:
   
   • "Yes, my dads are gay, but I try to look at the bright side - they're super neat and tidy, so I don't have a lot of housework chores to do."
   • "Yes, my moms are gay - so what? They've been together longer than any of the straight parents in my family. Most of the straight relatives are on their second or third marriages, so my moms are role models to the whole family - go figure."
   • "That's right, my moms are gay. You would not believe the power tools we've got."
   • "Yep, my dads are gay, but guess what? They bought me an iPod so I wouldn't have to roll my eyes all the time, or complain about all the Stresiand and show tunes they like to listen to. They'll never try to steal my music. Or my girlfriends."
6. Be your own person. You have just as much right to be there as the kids who give you headaches. You don't have to be like them to be cool. If you've tried talking to them, or tried just ignoring them, and they won't lay off, consider talking to a teacher or counselor about it.
7. Remember who you are. You are a product of what you were raised to be. Your parents love you, and you may sometimes be embarrassed about their relationship and how others perceive your family, but you love your parents, too. No matter what others do, remember this, hold onto your dignity and integrity - don't worry about the ignorant or the jerks. Worry about yourself and the kind of person you are, and don't allow yourself to be pressured into being sorry about who you - or your parents - are.

Tips

• A sense of humor and just one good friend can really help.
• Willingness to talk about it with your parents can help, too.

Related wikiHows

• How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
• How to Accept That You Are Gay
• How to Come Out As a Gay or Lesbian Teen
• How to Start a Gay Straight Alliance at Your School
• How to Decline an Invitation to a Gay Wedding for Religious Reasons
• How to Defend Your Support of Gay Marriage Rights
• How to Get a Man (for Gay Men)

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How to Learn to Accept a Gay Marriage

Looking back at our history, one can see that there have been many changes and acceptances regarding what is right and wrong with respect to 'marriages'.
During the days of the homesteaders and pioneers, it was quite normal and acceptable for a girl to marry at the young age of 12. The husband was usually chosen by her parents, who accepted a dowry in exchange for their daughter's hand in marriage. The husband-to-be was a much older man, and at times even older then her father. Generations later, this was frowned upon, and changes were made to the laws of who can marry, and the ages that they can marry.
Today we have a similar change in marriage laws, this time between same sex marriages. There are many differences of opinions pertaining to this, but whether we agree or not, we have to think about the people involved, not about our own personal opinions. Whether somebody close to you has revealed their own gay marriage plans or you want to be more open minded about gay marriages in general, this article will help you learn how.

Steps

1. Recognize that while you may not necessarily agree with same-sex marriage, if the couple is happy in their relationship together then you should not pass judgment. A happy gay marriage is much healthier than a bitter, miserable opposite sex marriage. As long as people are happy together, it shouldn't matter to you what sex they are, or whether their beliefs clash with yours.
2. Don't transfer your personal opinions and beliefs onto them. Just because you don't agree with something doesn't mean that it is wrong. Everybody is different, and as long is someone is content and satisifed with their choices, you shouldn't try to change them.
3. Let them make their own decisions. If you interfere too much, you can damage that relationship. Trying to make or influence the couple's decisions will simply cause arguments, friction, and pass you off as controlling and narrow minded.
4. Sit back and let whatever may happen, happen. You might not like the outcome, but it's not your life. Let them find happiness and faults by themselves- don't try to teach them yourselves. In fact, the result may surprise you.
5. Be happy for that couple. Don't show them any hatred or disgust. Instead, show them love and open arms. This situation is probably hard enough to lay out on the table, so the couple will need all the support they can get. Do not sit in judgment of their actions, or feel you have to accept it; just do not do or say anything to hinder it.
6. Choose your battles. Some methods for objecting to something you disagree with can do more harm than good. If the couple has children, you may feel that this is not an ideal environment for the children. But there is no way to change the situation after the fact, without causing the children far greater harm. A child who already knows and loves two parents of the same sex will not benefit in any way from being separated from one or both of them. This is a situation in which, even if the marriage ended, it would do more harm than good.

Tips

• If you can't find it in yourself to be supportive, stay away until you feel that you can be civil. If you can't bring yourself to agree with their opinions, then at least cool off until you can control what comes out of your mouth. If you are finding it hard to accept the marriage, it's a sensible idea to keep your distance. Otherwise you may end up saying or doing something you will later regret.
• Be careful what you say. Try to find appropriate words to express how you feel. Chances are, the people you are talking to are already going to know that they cannot expect you to be totally acceptive of them, so if you simply pick your words carefully and be empathetic towards how they feel, you are going to have a more successful conversation.
• Go online or read books on this subject to understand. Researching and putting yourself in their shoes will help you realise what they are going through, and give you the knowledge to support them, and maybe even yourself during this time.
• If your morals do not agree with gay relationships, don't pretend you agree, but don't introduce or pursue the subject. As it's wrong to lie and put up masks with people, it's also not right to stir up trouble or pick at already made wounds. If you know that you are never going to totally be acceptive of the marriage, then don't bring it up!
• If two people love and care for each other enough to fight extreme social bias to express their love for each other, you should give them the credit of overcoming the obstacles that a good number of couples take for granted. At least heterosexual couples can legally get married and divorced at will; homosexual couples don't even get a choice. Realise the incredible amount of strength that they obviously have.

Warnings

• Don't ever judge someone on their sexual orientation, race, or the color of their skin. The world is already filled with enough hate, so either ignore the situation until you come to an understanding, or support the situation and their choices. You do not have to accept it to tolerate it.

Related wikiHows

• How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
• How to Talk with a Gay or Lesbian Person
• How to Accept That You Are Gay
• How to Know if You Are Gay
• How to Defend Traditional Marriage
• How to Have a Discussion on Gay Marriage
• How to Meet a Homosexual
• How to Accept That Someone Close to You Is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender
• How to Tell Your Lesbian Friend That You Are Straight and Not Interested in Her

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How to Have a Discussion on Gay Marriage

Marriage between gay couples has been in the news more within recent years than ever before. Laws and rulings are changing regarding the matter throughout the world. There are different opinions on marriages between those of the same sex, and at times you might enter into a discussion between those who share different views on this subject.

Steps

1. Try to just listen without giving your opinion if you feel that you will not be able to control your temper! Think about what the other person is trying to say and also about what is behind their words. For many people the idea of same sex relationships is very difficult as they have been brought up believing it to be wrong or sinful. They may feel that same sex "marriage" somehow undermines heterosexual marriages. Understanding their background will make it easier to talk purposefully with them.
2. Have rebuttals for the most common arguments ready. Common reasons for thinking gay marriage is wrong are that it is a sin, and that it undermines conventional marriage. Be ready to say that actually two people of the same sex deciding to make a life-long commitment to each other is far less damaging to the institution of marriage than the lamentable divorce rates among heterosexual couples.
3. Express your thoughts and feelings calmly. Losing your temper and shouting will not change someone's mind! There is a technique called "hedging" which you might find effective. It softens the force of your assertions without negating them. Words such as "perhaps", "might", "in my opinion" and "I believe" are effective. Using these "softening" techniques can backfire if you do it too often, however - make a firm statement without hostility every so often to prevent losing credibility.
4. Acknowledge the opposing argument. You will get further with someone if you do not rubbish their opinions, but instead give them the other side of the argument to think about. There is nearly always some merit to the opposition's arguments - even if it is just that lots of people hold them! "I take your point, but have you considered...." is a good way of framing it.
5. Agree to disagree if all else fails. You can't change people's minds overnight, and some people will be immovable on the topic. Don't bang your head against a brick wall - just agree to disagree and move on.

Tips

• A good discussion can become heated, but it does not have to become argumentative or insulting.
• If you feel strongly about your opinions, and know that you are quick tempered, it is best to stay away from controversial subjects.
• Keep in mind that in some parts of the world, the subject of gay marriage may be controversial, in others it may not be; do a little research into the LGBT community of the area that you are in before you air your views
• When debating over the legitimacy of gay of marriage, be cautious about bringing up religion. Their religion may not be the same as yours, which would give them no reason to believe what you are saying. Be aware that different Christian groups have different views on gay marriage. Some denominations accept gay marriage.
• Always respect everyone, no matter what race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, or anything else they are.

Warnings

• Some people will find this topic impossible to discuss rationally.

Related wikiHows

• How to Accept That Someone Close to You Is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender
• How to Defend Your Support of Gay Marriage Rights
• How to Defend Traditional Marriage
• How to Come Out As a Gay or Lesbian Teen
• How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
• How to Write a Love Letter or Love Poem
• How to Show Love
• How to Come Out As a Gay or Lesbian Teen

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How to Defend Your Support of Gay Marriage Rights

This is a controversial subject that's been in the news more and more in recent times. It's not just gay people who support the rights of gay people to marry and enjoy the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts - many straight people also support this as a right. But many discussions of marriage rights degenerate into shouting matches over the morality of homosexuality - here's how to keep the discussion focused on the marriage issue and defend your supportive view.

Steps

1. Calmly present your arguments clearly and without hostility. Everyone is allowed an opinion. If someone else's doesn't mix with yours, that doesn't mean you're more entitled to yours than they are. It just means that you need to be calm and persuasive.
2. Remember that you are not likely to change anyone's mind today. Just giving someone food for thought is enough for one day.
3. Attack, Parry and Riposte. Of course, this doesn't literally mean you attack your opponent here. It means, you can take the initiative and bring up a point that bears discussing. Let the other person respond. Then "parry" - that is, you rebut their statement. "Riposte" after they rebut your rebuttal - bring up a new point. The objective is to have a good, two-sided debate, and to do that, you have to be strong enough to speak your mind, but secure enough to allow them to speak theirs, too.
4. Spot the appeal to maintain traditional views. If the argument focuses solely on how "traditional marriages" have historically been, then a logic fallacy is being committed. Just because something has been done one way for a long time does not mean it's the right or only way. "Traditionally," people were racist and sexist and got around in horse-drawn carriages. The fact that there is a "tradition" does not make the behavior right in the modern context. Depending on the culture and time, marriages were also "traditionally" meant to solidify business or political alliances, and had little to do with the emotions and future of the bride and groom. In modern times and most Western countries, we take a dim view of this tradition. If your opponent is worried about the "redefinition of traditional marriage," don't fight him on that - agree, and heartily state that marriage has already been redefined, many times, and thank goodness that is the case, otherwise, as recently as 1967, an interracial marriage (like the one that produced Barack Obama) would be illegal.
5. Take It Point by Point. Don't scatter your discussion, focus it on one point at a time. Here are some examples of the arguments made by those who wish to deny marriage rights to gays, and possible rebuttal answers:
   
   • The argument: Society needs traditional marriage to promote new families and children who will become the leaders of the next generation. Same-sex marriage does not promote this. Rather, it promotes the wants of individuals.
   • The response: Ask if this person is really saying that marriage should exist only for the purpose of producing children? Many marriages produce no children at all, but are either childless - whether by choice, or due to infertility or age - or are home to adopted children. These marriages are no less marriages in the eyes of the federal government, or of God (ask, "Don't you agree?"). Those people are accorded no fewer rights because the two married individuals do not procreate - nor should they be. Many same sex couples either produce natural children or adopt, create new families, and are no more self-serving to the individual than any opposite sex marriage in which children are dearly wanted. The desire or ability to procreate should not determine which rights a married couple should have.
   • The argument: Gay marriage robs a child of a two-parent family, and studies show that a child without one or the other parent is more likely to be stricken by poverty or drug abuse.
   • The response: The children do have two parents. What children are robbed of, and you cannot deny this, is the day-to-day influence of one parent of each gender. That's not optimal, and it should not be argued - all children, in an ideal scenario, would have a mother and a father in the home. However, that's not always what each child gets - even with straight parents. Children suffer the loss of a parent due to all sorts of different causes: death, divorce (especially when one parent moves far away), drug abuse, or abandonment. As to the "poverty and drug abuse" allegation - this is not supported by facts. Conveniently, many opponents of gay marriage ignore the fact that there are far more children doing well while still not being raised by a mother and father in an intact family than there are in dire straits. But in many committed gay families, there are two parents in the home, with children who are well-adjusted and successful in school. In fact, a recent study showed that for the very best parental situation, one would need to be sure a child was raised by a pair of lesbians; these children turned out to be more well adjusted and have better IQ scores than their peers being raised by their own bio moms and dads.
   • The argument: It's not about Civil Rights. Gay rights should not be equated with the struggle of African Americans for their Civil Rights, they were never slaves. (Many cite Jesse Jackson here, or other African American leaders)
   • The response: Nonsense. It is about Civil Rights. Civil Rights means the rights accorded to each and every citizen of the United States being equal and across the board to all citizens. That means African Americans and gays and women and anyone else who's being denied equality under our Constitution. Thankfully, the black Civil Rights movement has greased these wheels considerably, and provided a template so that other minority groups experiencing discrimination can achieve more equal treatment in decades rather than the centuries it took for African Americans to get as close as they have (though there's still a ways to go, there, too).
   • The argument: It's a slippery slope that will lead to incestuous marriage, or even bestiality in marriage. Just because a brother and sister are in love and want to marry, the law forbids it for good reasons. If Gay Marriage is allowed, then where will it end? Why not allow polygamy, too, for that matter?
   • The response: This is the most spurious argument of all, and it's just a ridiculous one. Gays want the same rights as straights. Incest will still be disallowed. Bestiality will still be disallowed. Marriage should be the committed relationship between two persons of consenting age which is lawful in all other ways. The "slippery slope" is all in the minds of these poor people - they are so afraid their way of life is being threatened that they are grasping at whatever straw seems to be waving their way.
   • The argument: Why would traditional marriage be in Federal Law? - President Clinton signed the federal Defense of Marriage Act into law on September 21, 1996.[4] If traditional marriage was wrong, why would one of our former presidents, with the support of the House of Representatives and Senate, sign it into law? Of course, the Federal Government has made mistakes in the past on subjects such as slavery and suffrage. The difference is that slavery has been abolished and all Americans have the right to vote, while the Defense of Marriage Act is still in law.
   • The response: This one's just funny. Let's think about it. First of all, nobody, as far as anyone can see so far, has said that "traditional marriage is wrong." It's fine - for traditional couples. The reason the Federal Defense of Marriage Act was signed into law is because it was politically expedient at the time for Clinton to sign it into law. The base of support for Gay Marriage that exists today did not exist then. And, as the other person points out, The Federal Government "has made mistakes in the past, on slavery and suffrage." Now you can point out that it is making a mistake here, too. The difference is that "slavery has been abolished and all Americans now have the right to vote." Exactly. Those laws were wrong then, and this Defense of Marriage Act is just as wrong - we just haven't gotten to the point yet where it's politically expedient to abolish the Defense of Marriage Act. Yet. It may still be the law for now. But have no doubt that it will be abolished eventually, just as the others were. This argument absurdly takes the stand that the fact that it hasn't happened yet is proof that it never should.
   • The argument: The Bible speaks out against gays. Since the authors of the Bible were inspired by God, then God must be opposed to homosexuality, and since marriages are done through God, there can be no same sex marriage.
   • The response: First, let's address the specific religious point: Actually, the Bible says little on the subject; the usual citations are from Leviticus and Romans; nothing about it is mentioned in the 10 Commandments, and Jesus is silent on the subject. Religious leaders have also spoken out against sex before marriage and contraception, implying that the only time sex is 'permitted' by God, is to reproduce. Yet, couples who cannot have children are permitted to marry and have sex, so the argument loses air. Second, let's refocus the argument on marriage, and away from the general issue of homosexuality: Marriages may indeed be done "through God", but the issue is that they are also civil contracts performed and sanctioned - and awarded special benefits - through the State (the actual state you live in, and/or the Federal government). We depend on our separation of powers, the separation of Church and State for civil contracts and laws - a religious objection to a civil union of any kind (including gay marriages) must not be allowed. It is not reasonable, nor should it even be legal, for the Federal Government to enforce discrimination based on religious views. Homosexuality is not illegal in in any state (since 2003). Marriage between gays should not be denied simply because people of certain religious affiliations find it "icky" or because it's "against their religion." Unless you intend to criminalize homosexuality again, you have two law-abiding citizens who pay exactly the same taxes and must obey the same laws as their straight counterparts, but who are being denied equal rights and benefits under the law of the land. That's discrimination, and it is most definitely a Civil Rights issue.
   • The argument: They're arguing over a word. Why not just call it a Civil Union, or just keep Domestic Partnership, and let those unions carry pretty much the same rights and benefits as traditional marriage, without calling it marriage?
   • The response: Because separate but equal is not equality, and it is not good enough. "Pretty much" has never been good enough for any minority group, and never will be. Every citizen should be accorded equal treatment under the law as a Constitutional right in the United States of America. That simple. Besides, if your opponent wants to say that "marriage is just a word," then what's the big deal to him? The truth is, marriage is far more than "just a word," and that's why it's so important. And your opponent knows it.
   • The argument: Statistics say that gay people or gay couples are more violent/abusive/involved in drugs etc.
   • The response: Although the accuracy of those reports are usually quite dubious, bringing down each of these claims individually by checking the authenticity of these statistics would be time-consuming. You could ask your opponent to produce or cite the source of those statistics (usually s/he will say, "Uh... ummm... hmm. I can't think of where I saw that right at this moment but...") Besides, it's irrelevant to whether or not marriage rights should be available. If any citizen is convicted of illegal (abuse or drugs) activity, s/he should be incarcerated. But even felons can get married. That's not to say that there's any truth to the notion that gays are more abusive or violent or prone to drug use, but you make your point by saying that whether or not it was true, it would still not be relevant.
   • The argument: I don't care what they do as long as they don't shove it down my throat. I don't want to hear about it, or have to see them kissing in public.
   • The response: Whoa. By that measure, straight people may not realize it, but every single conversation with every heterosexual person in ANY kind of relationship is shoving it down our throats, and everywhere we turn, we see straight people kissing in public. Look: Think about the last time you met someone new. How long was it before they said, "My husband and I ..." or "I was just telling my fiance..." "My girlfriend..." Doesn't that tell you everything about that person's sexual orientation, without you even asking? Meanwhile, the gay person is supposed to dodge around any questions that probe into relationship or marital status. The reality is, while gay people are fine with being mostly discreet about overt or gross sexual conduct (something you can't always say about straights), gay people did NOT agree to take some sort of vow of silence and never ever mention their significant other. And when you think about it, it's a terrible thing to impose on anyone - gays must avoid any mention of their spouses or SO's, or else they must choose to lie about it, switching pronouns and the like. This ruins any hope of having an actual relationship with the person who was lied to, because it's poisoned by lying at the very start. So before you impose this on gay people, think about how many times per day a gay person witnesses some innocuous form of heterosexual affection or sexuality - and get over it if what the gay person you're looking at isn't doing anything more than that.
   • The argument: The courts and judges should stay out of it - they're trying to hijack the will of the people by legislating things voters have already decided. We should let the majority rule - if the people vote it into law, that's the way it should be.
   • The response: That is absolutely wrong. This is precisely what judges and courts are for - to adjudicate matters of inequality between parties. The courts exist to protect minorities in our country from the majority. Yes, this is a democratic society, but it can never simply be "majority rules," otherwise we might still have things like slavery. Just because one group outnumbers another, it does not mean the minority does not deserve equal treatment. The court rulings are meant to, not promote an agenda, but rather, to keep agendas out of Constitutional issues and look at the law only - not the biases of the opposing sides.
6. Avoid the temptation to make the discussion about the rightness or wrongness of being gay in general. Keep focused on the marriage issue. That may be difficult, because it's going to be awfully tempting to the other person to make it about homosexuality in general. The truth is, that's most often why they oppose gay marriage - because they oppose gays on general religious principle. But re-focus the discussion by reminding your opponent that you are not talking about religious rights or views - reinforce the separation of Church and State idea. The government should not be in anyone's church, telling them what they have to do or accept. Neither should the church be in our government, telling it to treat one group of its citizens differently than all the others.
7. Talk about places where gay marriage is already legal. Take a look at Canada. Gay marriage was legalized across the country on July 20, 2005. Did the traditional family suddenly break apart that day? Did straight couples suddenly feel the love and meaning of their relationships drain dry? Did moms and dads start abusing their kids and clawing for divorces? Did crime rates suddenly skyrocket? Did all hell break loose on that day? Not to anyone's recollection. Did any straight marriage suddenly become meaningless, or lose its value? Did gay marriage suddenly result in fewer straight marriages? No? What did happen that day? A lot of people became very happy. A lot of people are now granted equal rights. And that's pretty much all that happened that day. The same can be said about the states of Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa, and very soon, Vermont and Maine. And California, for a little while - since then, contrary to what the doomsayers feared, California did not experience a gigantic earthquake and slip into the sea during the five months gay marriage was legal.
8. Recognize when it's done. Don't beat a dead horse - discuss it until you have nothing further to add, and neither does your opposition, and then graciously agree to disagree, if nothing more.

Tips

• Remember that your opponent in this discussion is often talking from a place of deep conviction, either religious or generally moral, and is unlikely to be swayed, but is definitely sincere.
• Be respectful of your opponent's position and attempt to educate, rather than ridicule.
• Bring up new motivations in response to arguments from the opposing side rather than repeating the ones you have already used. This brings new food for thought.
• Religious ideals are deeply and dearly held, and it's right that they are. The problem is that rather than following those beliefs to simply keep themselves on that path, many of these well-meaning people wish to set that same path for everyone else, as well. Reminding our opponents that their religion is not our government may be the best we can do - we can't always hope to change their ideals or views, but we can always do something to change our government.

Warnings

• Don't let the discussion turn into a debate of homosexuality in general. This is a matter of personal ideology. Instead, argue only the civil merits of marriage rights - not the religious attributes.
• Don't let it go on forever. Baby steps.
• Don't yell or swear. You'll only reinforce the idea that gay people or their supporters are unreasoning and dangerous.

Related wikiHows

• How to Have a Discussion on Gay Marriage
• How to Deal With a Spouse's Previous Marriage
• How to Defend Your Views on Gay Rights
• How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
• How to Defend Your Views on Gay Rights
• How to Defend Traditional Marriage
• How to Learn to Accept a Gay Marriage

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Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Defend Your Support of Gay Marriage Rights. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Make a Cupcake Wedding Cake

Cupcakes are all the rage, even Martha Stewart agrees! Using cupcakes as an alternative to the traditional large, tiered wedding cake is not only chic and trendy, it's also great for your budget. Add to that the fact that the cupcake wedding cake is doable for even the most novice baker, with the added benefit that the cupcakes can be made and frozen ahead of time, the cupcake wedding cake is a sensible and creative choice. Here is how to prepare your own cupcake wedding cake.

Steps

1. Determine the number of guests. It is very important not to underestimate this part; while not everyone will want a piece of traditional wedding cake, almost everyone will want a cupcake!
   
   • Do you want enough for guests to have one (or more) cupcakes at the wedding and one to take home?
   • Do you want a mini cake at the very top of the cupcake wedding cake? Some people like this as an added design feature for the bride and groom to keep after the wedding.
2. Plan the cupcake decoration. From a simple buttercream frosting to edible petals to inexpensive cupcake caps, you have lots of options. Do you want intricate designs on some of the cupcakes only, or on all? Do you want to mix and match designs? Think about the various possibilities. Some decorative designs to consider include:
   
   • Unique toppers that are just for the bride and groom.
   • A beloved symbol representing the bride and groom, such as doves, swans, or flowers.
   • Hearts and initials.
   • Floral designs.
   • Real flowers atop the frosting. (Be sure to use non-toxic flowers.)
   • Garden wedding designs.
   • Butterflies.
   • A fondant bow.
   • A fun photo of the bride and groom attached with a toothpick.
3. Choose a tiered stand or an equivalent arrangement. There are lots of stands currently available, or you can simply choose to arrange the cupcake display as works best for you.
   
   • If using a stand, decide whether you want to buy or rent. If the cost is reasonable, consider purchasing it as you can use the stand again and again for tea parties, etc. Stands come in ceramic, plastic, acrylic, metal, etc.
   • Consider a round tier.
   • Consider a square tier.
   • Consider an "in the round" - a combination of using both stands and a round covered table for a larger wedding party.
4. Set your schedule. It is important to work out who will be responsible for preparing the cupcakes. Even if you are doing this yourself, only the cupcake itself can be frozen ahead; the decorations must be done very close to the wedding time -- is that something you are prepared to do at the last minute?
   
   • Consider whether it might be less stressful to have a family member(s) or friend(s) do it for you. You can sit down with the people responsible for preparing the cupcake wedding cake and talk them through the decorating, even show them what you want and provide photos of a test run. (Make a little photo instruction book that they can keep and follow.)
   • If you are going to do the baking, cupcakes freeze well (before decoration) and can be made a month out.
5. Bake your cupcakes. Choose a cupcake recipe that you love and prepare it in advance of the wedding. Freeze if necessary. Some ideas for suitable wedding cupcakes include:
   
   • Plain cupcakes
   • Chocolate cupcakes
   • Lavender cupcakes
   • Smore cupcakes
   • Vegan cupcakes
   • Green tea cupcakes
   • Red velvet cupcakes
   • Apricot cupcakes
   • Ginger cupcakes
   • Black forest cupcakes
   • Pink lemonade cupcakes
   • Mixture of flavors.
6. Choose the frosting (icing) flavor and texture to decorate the cupcakes. Cupcake frosting can be made in almost any flavor imaginable: vanilla, chocolate, banana, etc. Match the flavor with the cupcake.
   
   • Keeping in mind temperature and suitability for holding shape and decorative elements, decide on the type of frosting you would like to use:
     
     • Buttercream
     • Royal icing
     • Simple frosting
     • Fudge frosting
     • Whipped cream
   • Choose a color that matches with the theme of your wedding.
7. Arrange transportation for the cupcakes and stand. More good news - cupcakes are much easier to transport than a wedding cake.
   
   • New, clean plastic sweater boxes/tubs are great for transporting, and they can usually hold about 40 cupcakes. These cost about US$5.
   • Decide whether or not you want the cupcakes wrapped in paper, as shown in this image. This can protect the cupcakes while still appearing pretty but it does change the appearance considerably.
8. Assemble the cupcake wedding cake at the venue. Once the cupcakes arrive, have someone arrange them in the correct order if you are not doing this yourself.
   
   • Provide clear instructions. This is where your precise instructions are very important, down to the last ribbon and floral piece! Use a photo book taken when you rehearsed the design to help those doing the decorating to get it right.
   • Consider well in advance whether you want flowers, lace, ribbon, figurines, signs, photos, etc., to form part of the overall wedding cake set up.
   • Don't forget to include some silver slides or tongs to help people take the cupcakes without touching the stand or bumping their hands against other cupcakes.
9. Provide the opportunity for guests to take their cupcake(s) home. If you have made enough cupcakes to allow guests to take one home, provide a carry container.
   
   • 3" x 3" x 3" (7.5 cm x 7.5 cm x 7.5 cm) gift boxes make your beautiful wedding cupcakes into a take home treat.

Video

This video demonstrates how to make petal frosting and flour paste painted butterflies for decorating wedding cupcakes.

Tips

• At US$1 to $3 each, cupcakes are a great alternative to wedding cakes from US$4 and up per serving.
• If you're creative, stands can be built by making circles or squares of Styrofoam, covered with aluminum foil and hot gluing around with ribbon. Use thick Styrofoam pillars to hold up the tier.

Things You'll Need

• Cupcakes (see suggested recipes in steps)
• Cupcake holders/papers
• Frosting and edible coloring
• Decorative elements (fondant, molded chocolates, flowers, etc.)
• Stand, ribbon, decorations
• Favor boxes (if relevant)

Related wikiHows

• How to Lower Wedding Cake Price
• How to Save Money on Your Wedding Ceremony and Reception
• How to Make Sand Castle Beach Theme Wedding Cake
• How to Choose the Perfect Wedding Cake and Wedding Cake Topper
• How to Design a Wedding Cake on a Budget

Sources and Citations

• Cupcake Caps Information, http://www.cupcakecaps.com/weddings.html -- research source
• Gift Box Information, http://www.uline.com/Browse_Listing_5602.asp?desc=Gift+Boxes -- Research Source

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Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Make a Cupcake Wedding Cake. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.http://28f92b3bwgoyam46ydkaqw0nba.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=WFHS12

How to Stop a Wedding

We've all seen the movies where a person halts a wedding in progress in order to get back the one they truly love. In reality though, halting a wedding from going ahead is a very delicate situation that can easily backfire on you and spoil a significant day.
If you believe you're justified in doing so, however, here are some suggestions for going about stopping a wedding with class and dignity.

Steps

1. Before considering anything as dramatic as stopping a wedding in progress, try to contact your beloved prior to the wedding day so you two can have a private moment together. Stopping a wedding is an act that will have serious consequences for many people: you, the bride and groom, their families and the other guests.
2. Make sure you truly feel as if halting the wedding is your only option. You most likely have a history with the person about to tie the knot, and you must be certain that your odds of winning him or her back are favorable and desirable.
3. If there are two people that are clearly underaged getting married, you have a right to speak your part, but do not do so rudely. Please refrain from running and screaming into the church, or wherever. Direct yourself in a calm and collected manner. If possible, have a serious talk with the bride and groom beforehand.
   
   • Don't just think about yourself in this equation. Be honest about your belief that your beloved is not happy with the person he or she is about to marry. It is possible, after all, that they have made this choice after a great deal of soul-searching, based on their own wants, needs, and preferences. Sometimes a person will prefer a pragmatic, realistic, and reliable love choice over a deep love that they feel isn't going to fulfill specific needs in their life.
   • Talk this out with several others before you act. The human mind works in strange ways. Sometimes what we think in our own mind is a brilliant idea at the time might just turn out to be crazy. We all have false memories - the recollection of an event, or the details of an event, that did not occur.
4. Find out the location of the wedding. Unless you have been invited, you will have to find out where the wedding ceremony is to be held, and the exact time. Ask family members or friends if it doesn't appear too suspicious, or perhaps check the wedding notices in the local newspaper.
5. Prepare your speech. If you're going to put a stop to something that has taken months to prepare and probably even longer to agree to, what you have to say needs to be incredibly compelling. Writing out a speech, rehearsing it, and learning it by heart are absolute necessities to overcome nerves and to project it from the heart.
   
   • Build an effective case.
   • Keep it brief but powerful.
   • Give reasons why the person you love is marrying the wrong person. And why it should be you instead.
   • Express your undying devotion to the bride or groom.
6. Find a suitable place to wait. Do not allow yourself to be seated by the ushers. This increases the odds that you may be stuck in a bad part of the audience that will make it difficult for you to make your objection. If you have to, wait until everyone has been seated and the wedding is underway before you enter the foyer of the building.
   
   • If the wedding is outdoors, keep a good distance until the bride has walked the aisle.
7. Be in position when the ceremony begins. The best spot is at the back door of the church or room in which the ceremony is taking place. If the wedding is outdoors, move to the back of the aisle or seating area.
8. Object. When the reverend, marriage celebrant, or judge asks if anyone should object to the marriage, step forward between the first few rows of seats in the back of the room. Boldly but smoothly raise your hand and say, "I object."
   
   • At this point you must immediately provide a reason why your beloved must not marry the other person. This is where your well-rehearsed speech will ensure that you sound convincing and will help prevent you from coming across as weak, crazy, or insecure. WARNING: If you make untrue allegations against another person you're likely to be sued.
   • Some weddings no longer include this phrase. Unless you are sure this wedding does it might simply be better to talk to your love ahead of time.
9. Wait. The bride or groom will have only a few seconds to make a decision and everyone this person knows will be hanging on his or her answer. If he or she objects, quietly exit the room and walk away without making a scene. Don't be surprised if things do not go as you hoped; this is a very left-field, highly emotionally charged act. Instead, be gracious, nod politely, and apologize.
   
   • Exit the wedding without making a fuss. You've probably already caused enough emotional trauma for the guests present (which is why it is exceedingly important to always think long and hard before going through with this).
   • Have a taxi waiting, or your car, ready to make a fast exit.
   • If you need to speak with your beloved, wait until after the honeymoon and send an email or text asking to meet up.
10. Take charge if things go your way. If he or she decides not to go through with the wedding, it is your duty to immediately escort your beloved away from the pressure of their family and friends. There is no doubt that friends and family will be angry or furious and will demand answers if the bride or groom doesn't immediately flee the scene.
    
    • Have a get-away car prepared so that the bride or groom doesn't have to face the embarrassment of his or her friends and family.
11. Enjoy life with your stolen bride or groom. Be cautious, however, as someone who is likely to walk from a wedding may be afraid of commitment, and insecure in relationships. This could pose problems for your relationship.

Tips

• Write out what you plan to say as an objection to the wedding. This way if you freeze when everyone is wondering why you are interrupting the ceremony, you can refer to your written declaration of love and minimize the risk of drawing a blank.
• Be prepared to cover the expenses of the wedding if you get your heart's desire. It's only fair recompense and you may be legally responsible for these expenses if you succeed.

Warnings

• Objecting to a marriage is risky and your odds of pulling it off are slim at best.
• You should try your best to work out any potential issues with your "beloved" before the day of the wedding. If you can't talk to the person and air your concerns, you should take that as a sign that breaking up the wedding is not the correct course of action.
• In attempting to steal a soon-to-be spouse away, you will face the anger of their family and friends. If you attempt to break up a wedding, you may well ensure continuing hatred from your "beloved" and everybody else involved.
• Unless you want to face immediate repercussions or you're dealing with a very understanding family, it might be a good idea to move to a different part of the country afterward. You should have a job and place to live in mind before you depart.
• In many weddings in this day and age the officiant does not ask if anyone objects.
• If you really respect and care about this person, talk to him/her ahead of time in private. Speaking up for the first time at the wedding in front of a crowd of people can be a very hurtful, impolite way to handle the situation.
• Seek psychological counsel. What you are suggesting is rare, not normal, and will cause life-changing memories for everyone in the room. You may also want legal counsel -- if you make any negative remarks about another person you're likely to be sued for slander.
• Your 'beloved' may hate you

Things You'll Need

• Prepared speech
• Wedding details
• The confidence to speak your mind

Related wikiHows

• How to Personalize Your Wedding
• How to Have a Green Wedding
• How to Have a Small Private Wedding
• How to Plan a Wedding in 6 Months
• How to Plan Your Wedding
• How to Choose a Wedding Dress
• How to Shop for a Wedding Dress
• How to Be a Great Groom
• How to Be a Great Groomsman

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Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Stop a Wedding. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Become an Ordained Minister Online

One of the great things about living in the 21st century is now anyone can become a legally ordained minister online. As an ordained minister, you can officiate wedding ceremonies, baptisms, and other religious ceremonies. Of course there is more to being ordained than just officiating ceremonies. Being ordained can be very rewarding, but ultimately it is up to the individual to "legitimize" the act.

Steps

1. Find a church website that accepts online ordinations. Try searching for "become ordained" There are many websites that offer ordination.
2. Find a church that reflects your lifestyle and religious beliefs. You do not have to be "religious" to become ordained.
3. Every church has different requirements for the ordination process. Most require your full legal name, mailing address and a valid email address.
4. Complete the ordination request from the church website and make sure to follow any further instructions.

Tips

• Before you perform a wedding, learn the state marriage laws and check with the County Clerk of where the marriage is taking place. While you might be legally ordained as a minister, there could be restrictions on who can solemnize marriages in the county.
• In a few states you need a letter aka "Letter of Good Standing" from the organization that ordained you.
• If you plan to perform a marriage in the state of Nevada be sure that you check that the organization has a "physical" congregation in the state of Nevada as the laws in Nevada prohibit an ordained minister from performing a wedding if there is not a physical congregation in Nevada. Unless you are a resident of another state in which case you can request a one time exception from the county in which the license is obtained.
• Be confident and have faith performing a ceremony can be a very rewarding experience.
• There are churches that are non-denominational and open to any religious beliefs. They do not require you to switch from your current faith to get ordained. There are some online churches that require you to switch to their faith.
• Research which church best suites your belief structure.
• Check with the church that you are getting ordained with for any additional requirements they might have.
• You can go to Google or use your favorite search to find a non-denominational church to get ordained with.
• Consider a minister training course - after all being an ordained minister is more than just performing weddings, you can also perform baptisms and funerals. Ultimately the main idea behind becoming ordained is between the minister and God.

Warnings

• Be sure the church is established and has been around for some time.
• An August 2007 article in the New York Times [1] notes that questions can arise regarding the legality of wedding ceremonies and marriage solemnizations conducted by ministers who received their ordination online. Please confirm with your local County Clerk that your ordination is recognized in the jurisdiction in which you plan to perform weddings.

Related wikiHows

• How to Become a Church Music Minister
• How to Create a Church
• How to Design a Church Web Site
• How to Make a Good Confession in the Catholic Church

Sources and Citations

1. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/fashion/05marry.html Great Wedding! But Was It Legal?

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Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Become an Ordained Minister Online. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Plan a Wedding in Six Months

Planning a wedding isn't easy. Planning a wedding to happen in 6 months or less is even harder. Here are a few steps that are helpful in planning a fantastic wedding in 6 short months or less.

Steps

1. Prepare yourself mentally. Get into the right frame of mind. Be prepared to compromise. Enter into the planning of your wedding with an open mind and flexibility. You may have it all planned out in your mind but not keeping your ideas flexible will leave you frustrated and disappointed. Be ready to alter your ideas of what your dream wedding is. Not only will you need to be flexible with your planning but you need to be willing to make compromises financially. Don't try to over plan or be too controlling. Take everything with a grain of salt and a sense of humor.
2. Decide on a budget and stick to it. This is the first step in planning any wedding but even more important when planning on a short time line. Because of the short time frame the money you spend won't be spread out over a year or two. You need to look at what funds you have to spend and be able to live and pay your bills. You may need to scale down the vision of your wedding.
3. Buy a wedding planner book or make your own. Make sure it has a calendar and pockets to store brochures and clippings. This helps you organize your ideas and helps you store contact information all in one place. Write down vendors you have talked to along with contact information and appointment dates and times. You can also add swatches of fabric and photos of flowers to show to your florist.
   
   • Start planning as soon as you decide on a date! If you take care of everything in the beginning, you have more time to enjoy your engagement and more time to focus on the small, minor details (e.g. the font color of your invitations).
4. Make a time line with a to-do list. The time line will differ depending on where you live and the bridal market. The time line could change drastically if you were planning your wedding for January or June. Most of the following steps need to be completed in the first month to month and a half to get the vendors (florist, photographers, dresses, etc.) booked or picked in time if you're in an average sized city. When planning something fast the bulk of the decisions are made in month one. You just spend the other months fine tuning and hoping the wheels don't come off the wagon.
5. Consider a destination wedding. These are usually the easiest to do on short notice. All you need to do is show up, get married and have a great time. This may end up costing you less money in the long run. Weigh your options. Most resorts have everything in place and can schedule multiple events with no problem on short notice.
   
   • The travel will help filter your guest list and you may find only your best friends and closest family will attend.
   • This often combines the wedding, reception and honeymoon all into one for more savings.
   • Flowers and a cake are often included in the cost.

1. Consider a casual theme wedding. Have a great party instead of a formal affair. Be creative and try to plan something fun. Remember at the end of the day you're still married, so try not to be as stuffy with your wedding when you're short on time. Think out of the box and you'll save your sanity and have a more memorable wedding than your friends who planned twice as long and spent ten times as much.

.

1. Decide on a date and an alternate date. Call your ceremony location options to find out what is available and how the cost fits into your overall plan. If you wait, you risk the date being unavailable. If you find a place you like that is available and in your price range you should book it and not wait.
   
   • If the site is out of your price range or booked, you can inquire about having it on an alternate day. Friday and Sunday weddings have become more and more common especially in large cities where there is incredible demand and cost associated with Saturdays. They may offer Fridays or Sundays at a reduced rate.

1. • Ask what the refund or cancellation policy is for booking on short notice. They may have contracts that state you must cancel at least 6 months before to get a deposit back. Since you are already within this window you should be very careful what you book and offer deposits. Also ask if the contracts can be changed since you are booking late. They may give you an extra month in the cancellation/reschedule window of time.
2. Research reception areas to see what is available in your budget.
   
   • Determine if a reception location is available where you are having the ceremony. This will make things much easier to plan and more affordable. You won't have to arrange transportation for the wedding party and this will be one less thing to book and put a deposit on.
   • If you are having trouble finding an available reception location, call your local caterer and ask them for a list of local reception sites. They are usually more than willing to help, especially if you are a potential customer.

1. • You can easily have a wedding with 30 people attending Consider the beach, .
2. Contact an officiant to conduct the ceremony. Certain religions or churches require couples to attend pre-wedding counseling. If you want a religious officiant, your officiant will likely want to meet with you and your partner before the wedding to discuss the vows, how they usually conduct ceremonies and other details. Don't wait until the last minute. Ministers book well in advance but they can usually do several ceremonies in one day. You may need to be flexible with your time if you must have your preferred officiant. If they aren't available you can ask if an associate pastor is available or if they can recommend someone else.

1. • 
     
   • Cherish your heritage and ask your mother, grandmother, aunts, etc. if anyone has their dress. Vintage gowns make the event much more special. Chances are good they'd be honored to have you wear their dress and won't mind you having it altered. Just ask.
2. Decide who you want to be a part of your wedding and then ask them.
   
   • Consider nixing the traditional bridal party. Ask you mother to stand with you. You really don't need all the maids, junior brides maids, flower girls, ring bearers, etc. Keep it super simple.
   • Remember, the more people you ask, the more money and time it will cost in the long run.
   • Don't assume every one of your friends must be in the ceremony. Chances are they'll be secretly thankful since being in a wedding takes much time and money for everyone. If they love you they'll still help out and probably be more motivated.
   • There is a time crunch involved so be considerate of people who may be traveling long distances to be involved.
   • Surround yourself with people who are positive and helpful. You don't have time for drama queens or emotional vampires.
3. Pick out the bridesmaids' dresses. Like wedding dresses, these can take several months to come in if you order them and may require your bridesmaids have them altered. Bridesmaids may not be as "attentive" to your time line so try to pick out dresses that are figure forgiving or have laces instead of zippers. They'll save alteration expenses and the minor details won't be a major problem if they don't use a good tailor/seamstress.
   
   • Check out the major department stores and bridal shops for the chance to buy off the hanger. Take your bridesmaids with you so they can try on.
   • Don't be afraid of different style dresses. So long as the color is the same you can use different styles. This could be a great way of finding dresses that fit a variety of body shapes without requiring major alterations.
   • Consider going to a department store formal gown department (and not in their bridal department) for your bridesmaids dresses rather than a bridal shop. They will get the dresses faster and can possibly save money as well. Layaway and alterations are sometimes included.
4. Meet with a few different photographers. Most photographers are busy and have limited schedules. But if you start early, your date is more likely to be available. Consider asking a friend whom you know takes great pictures. You may have to sacrifice the posed photos since those take practice to set up.
   
   • Remember that an experienced professional wedding photographer would produce quality images, whatever the weather or regardless of any unforeseen circumstances.
   • Ask around at your local camera store if they know of any budding photographers or anyone starting off in bridal work. They may know of someone who is not in the telephone directory who does great work.
   • Ask to see all their pictures from a complete wedding, not just the 'best of' from several weddings
   • The perception is that digital costs less so the overhead will be minimal. Photographers will tell you the capital investment in professional equipment is far higher, and the time spent editing the photographs is far more intensive than the days of film. Weigh the cost with the quality, ask questions and use someone you can communicate with easily.
   • You might want to save money by making an arrangement with the photographer and getting a CD of your pictures, and then having the actual photos printed yourself at a local photo shop.
   • Remember that the photographer may own the copyright, so ensure that any reproduction of images is permitted in writing by the photographer.
   • Add disposable cameras to reception tables. Leave a note telling guests to take photos and leave the cameras. Remind them the cameras are not toys for their kids.
5. Register for wedding gifts at a store offering the service. Most national department stores and discount stores have a bridal gift registry available. The national chains also make it easier for people out of town.
   
   • If you're having a small and simple wedding you should keep your gift list requests modest and focus on the essentials (towels, casual china, cookware, serving items, etc.).
   • If you have a larger budget and can go all out for the wedding and reception despite the short time frame you can go for more lavish gift requests like expensive fine china, crystal and silver.
   • Etiquette suggest that everyone invited to showers should also be invited to the wedding and/or reception. The exception is a destination wedding with reception or showers/luncheons thrown by co-workers.
   • Guys can have showers too. If the couple needs many items to start off, have a male relative or friend throw a yard or tool party for the groom. Make sure he registers for the items.
   • Register at one or two stores. Try to think of stores convenient to friends and family.
   • Remember to buy thank you notes and stamps. Send them out as quickly as possible after you receive a gift or if someone helps you with your wedding in some way. You don't have much time and if you get sidetracked you may not get the card out in the appropriate time frame.
6. Work with your partner to make a guest list. Determine how many people you can entertain with the budget and space you have available. Start getting their addresses together.
7. Meet with florist. If you find one that is reputable and available you should book them. Hopefully, you've looked through bridal books and floral design sites to get ideas on how you'd like your flowers to look. Ideally, you printed pictures and stored them in your bridal book.
   
   • Not all flowers are available year round. You may discover you are paying almost double for a flower that is out of season and difficult to come by but could be replaced with a similar flower with more availability.
   • Ask your florist what ideas they may have to make the cost more affordable.
   • Consider simple designs of one flower or a few simple flowers tied with a lovely ribbon. It keeps cost down! Don't forget that flowers are usually dead by the next day.
   • Can't find a florist? Don't panic! You'll just need to rethink and compromise.
     
     • Call all of the florists back and ask about renting the potted plants, having them do the corsages and boutonnieres for you to pick up everything the day before. Have them use hardy flowers!
     • Have them prepare simple but hardy flowers wrapped in ribbon for the bouquets (again, picked up by you the day before and stored in water).
     • The florist still does a lot of the work but you'll need to pick it up the day before, put everything out and maybe even take the rental plants back to the florist.
     • They may see this as a way to add on additional business without actually having to visit a wedding site to decorate.
8. Go to a local printer and look through invitation books. Try to pick ones that won't require a lot of assembly once they come in. Those invitations with the ribbons are cute but do you really have time to put them together, stuff the envelopes, address the envelopes and mail?
   
   • Most bridal stores have invitation books for ordering. Ask ahead what the turn around time is.
   • You may be better off getting a simple invitation from a local printer. With the technology available, most local printers can do just as good of a job. They may also feel more compelled to do better work because you're local and reputation is everything.
9. Contact local caterers and discuss food options for your reception. Discuss various menus and costs. Also discuss whether you will offer alcohol and how it will be served.
   
   • Are you going to offer a full sit down meal? It may be less expensive to offer heavy hor d'ourves or a buffet. That may free up more money for alcohol.
   • Consider only offering beer, wine and champagne to save additional cost.
   • Don't offer alcohol. Save even more by offering coffee, tea or punch following an early afternoon wedding.
   • So long as the reception isn't during a meal time you can avoid providing lots of food. Plan your wedding after lunch but before dinner to cut catering cost. Guests will have eaten.

1. • Establish what happens to the left over food and beverage. It's yours if you pay for it. Save the leftovers and freeze them, pack a picnic basket for your honeymoon trip. Bring storage containers and ask someone to pack it up once the reception is over.
   • Determine when you must give them a final head count or last date to change the menu. If your budget gets out of control it's nice to be able to shave back on the catering.
   • Determine if you need to get a one day license to serve alcohol or if it is provided by the reception venue or caterer.
2. Think about splitting up the dates. Compromise. Have a small wedding with immediate family and friends. Plan a big party/reception with all your friends and a big spread a few months after the wedding or on your first anniversary. You'll have time to really plan. This is a common practice following intimate weddings. The benefits include:
   
   • You can plan it on a Friday night and aren't restricted to having a later afternoon or evening wedding.
   • You won't be stressed and can enjoy it
   • You won't have to leave mid-party for your honeymoon
   • You have an excuse to wear your wedding dress or buy a great white cocktail dress.
   • You get to celebrate twice.
   • You can have a destination wedding and still have a reception or party afterwards for all your friends to attend.
3. Contact local bakeries or wedding cake specialist to pick out and order your cake. Tell them how many people will be attending. Let them know if your wedding will be inside or out so they can advise you of what ingredients will stand up under the weather. No one wants to see a melted cake.
4. Find a band or DJ. If you are booking a band or a DJ you should start checking around and see who is good for the venue. On a short time schedule, a DJ may be more affordable and more flexible. Ask around and see who is recommended. As always, if the best is booked ask who they recommend. Meet and discuss the play list.
   
   • If you're planning something small, don't worry about entertaining everyone with a dance reception.
   • Call the local music college for deals on a small string section for the wedding.
   • For super small weddings you can forgo the music all together. If it is that intimate, everyone will know everyone and be talking anyway.
5. Start making plans for your honeymoon. It may take several months to get a passport.
6. Get a marriage license. Find out what is required by your state to apply for a marriage license. Do you or your partner need a copy of your birth certificates? Do you have an approved copy? Find out specifically what they require so you can order an appropriate copy or a signed original if needed. Do you need a copy of a divorce decree? You may have to contact the county where your divorce was finalized to acquire one.
7. Follow up. Continue to follow up and check the status of things with your party, vendors, etc. With a tight time line you can't let anyone lose focus.
8. Schedule a time for the groomsmen to be measured for tuxedos or suits. Tuxedo measurements require multiple measurements and they are required to get the best fit. If they live out of town they can be measured by their nearest tuxedo rental shop and the measurements can be sent to your local tuxedo shop.

1. • Have your groomsmen pick up their tuxedos several days before the wedding. Thursday morning is usually the earliest for a Saturday wedding. They should try the tuxedos, shoes, etc. on immediately. If there was a problem with size or a measurement, the store can still use a day or two to sort it out and possibly have another size shipped in.
2. Schedule make up and hair for yourself, the mothers and the bridesmaids for the day of the wedding. It is fine for them to be responsible for the cost themselves. Don't feel obligated to pay for it but don't give them specific style demands unless you are footing the bill.
3. Make a list of things you will need the day of the wedding. Keep this list in your planner. Add to it as you think of things. Discuss this with your bridesmaids or maid of honor. See if they can help you remember or take control of your bags.
4. Stock a wedding preparedness bag. Here are some things you may need that are commonly needed and sometimes forgotten:
   
   • Duct tape. Seriously, this is the best at fixing hems, tears, holding bras in place, you name it. Super models use it and wedding planners swear by it.
   • Lighted make up mirror
   • Oscillating fan (Wedding dresses aren't comfortable to hang out in, she'll get quite warm while waiting.)
   • Advil, Tylenol, Pepto-Bismol
   • Extra makeup, powder, lipstick
   • Slippers or comfortable shoes for before the wedding or after if your feet get too sore
   • Baby powder--used to cover spots on the dress
   • Hair supplies: bobby pins, super hold hairspray, curling iron
   • Body supplies: deodorant, perfume, bra, foundation garments, etc.
   • Sewing kit with spools of thread in the color of the bride's dress, the brides maid's dresses and the tuxedos.
5. Congratulations! You should be well on your way to a great and memorable wedding that will be a pleasure for you, your future spouse and your guests. Keep in mind that small, sweet and intimate is always better than big, impersonal and lavish.

Tips

Skills

• Keep your sense of humor and be flexible. Things will go wrong and you should expect to have at least one major disappointment, if not more.

Knowledge

• Think about the bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts early. You don't want to wait until the last minute since these can be pricey. Avoid getting things personalized in the event someone backs out.
• 
  
• Before the big day, delegate important things to people you trust. For example, have someone make sure that the bride and groom monitor cultural traditions, have someone get to the reception early to light candles, etc. Once you delegate, let them take care of it!
• Be realistic. You may have to have a smaller, simple wedding and not a lavish affair. Sometimes the nicest weddings are the simple ones done with taste and not the lavish ones that become tacky because they're done too fast or with the wrong people.

• If you're picking up your flowers and plants from the florist the day before you should ask your florist specific questions about storing the flowers. Keeping them cool may be recommended. Ask if you should store them in a refrigerator or in a cooled room.
• Some dresses may take considerably less time to come in. It depends on the manufacturer. Try to allow yourself double the delivery time they say. (If they say 2 months, think 4, and you should still have a safety window for alterations.) This will allow time to send it back if they make an error. Be wary of any sales associate that seems to over promise. If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
• Destination weddings don't have to be on exotic islands or distant locations. You can have a destination wedding at a resort nearby. Every state has one or look at a neighboring state. Consider a location where most can travel by car (not too far, a few hours at max) instead of fly and can stay a night or two in a comfortable hotel without breaking the bank.

Attitude

• Be considerate of close family with children when planning a destination wedding. Some all-inclusive resorts prohibit children and like most airlines, they may charge adult prices for kids. The cost can become prohibitive for a family with kids.
• When your wedding planning starts making you crazy, repeat to yourself, "It's not about me, it's about the marriage." Don't get so wrapped up in the wedding you take your eye off the ball.
• 
  

Warnings

• Don't wait until the last minute to take care of things. It adds stress to everyone involved.
• If you include people in your bridal party who aren't supportive of you, it could cause for some major stress in the next few months. Be careful who you decide to be a part of it.
• Be very clear what the cancellation or reschedule policy is for each vendor you hire. Since you are booking late, you may not be eligible for a refund should you need to adjust your times or dates.
• Get everything in writing from the vendors you hire. Confirm with them every few weeks. Don't just assume you are "on the books".
• Carefully read the fine print in all contracts. They may not offer a refund or cancellation policy within the 6 month window. Once you're booked, you're locked in. Ask if they will give you an extra 30 days since you are booking. (Can't hurt to ask and could save you if you find another deal.)
• Beware of hidden fees. When using a church they will usually charge you for the officiant but also for the organist, use of the facilities and the staffers which must arrive and make sure the heat or AC is properly on. Those fees can add up to close to $1000 in smaller towns. Even if you are a member you will still find there are hidden fees and payments to be made to those working at the church.
• Double check your paperwork while you are still with a vendor or sales associate. Make sure they have deducted the correct amount of any deposit and leave the appropriate balance to be paid.
• Make sure vendors document and sign any promises made that are not shown on the contract. (If the order is wrong or the color isn't as promised, they pay shipping for rush replacement, etc.) Any guarantees they make verbally should also be written down and included on the contract.
• Keep copies of all contracts, receipts, cancelled checks, order forms, deposit forms, etc.

Things You'll Need

• Dress
• Food
• Drinks
• Dance floor
• Venue
• Officiant
• Appropriate documents to get a marriage license

Related wikiHows

• How to Plan a Wedding in Two Weeks and for Under $500
• How to Set a Realistic Wedding Budget
• [[
• How to Save Money on Your Wedding Ceremony and Reception
• How to Get Married on a Budget (UK)
• How to Have a Small Private Wedding
• How to Lower Wedding Cake Price
• How to Choose Flowers for Your Wedding Day
• How to Manage an Event
• How to Write Marriage Vows for Gays

Sources and Citations

• Wedding Savings Info
• Affordable Wedding Tuxedos

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